Homesick

Homesickness can strike with no warning, and tonight I have it bad. It's been almost five months since I was home last, at Thanksgiving, and it's a little over two months until I get to be home again. Provo does have a sense of familiarity and comfort to it, but it lacks the family part. This time in my life is always shifting and unstable, but most of all it's hard being a grown up. It's hard knowing that I can't stay at home for lengths at a time and that things will never be the same. There are plenty of perks to being of age, like going where you want and feeling capable, but sometimes I just want to be home.

Calgary is home to me now. I love it, and I miss it. I love my parents, my dog, my sister, my brother-in-law, my niece and my friends. I love that the Flames are in the playoffs and driving on Deerfoot. I love Canada and distance does make the heart grow fonder. This is getting sappy and it's late and I'm feeling the stress of finals and finishing up the semester. Times are changing once more, as they do every 3 1/2 months, and it's nice to think of things that are constant.

I'm going home on June but it's only for a little over two weeks. I'm lucky to have my parents, especially my mom, able to travel to Utah so often. I switch back in forth between longing for change and new adventures and never wanting things to end. It's the Libra in me that tries to balance them equally. I can't say that I'm Canadian and I can't say that I'm from Utah, so I'm not exactly sure where I belong. When I'm here I miss Canada and when I'm there I miss Provo. I also miss London and want to live in a big city when I graduate.

I guess part of me feels lost. I've felt this way before, especially when I first moved to Calgary. I remember imagining the memoir I would write called "Home for Now." That's how it felt for me then and that's how I'll have to feel now. Provo's home for now, but it'll change again.

I'm just here to say that I miss home and GO FLAMES GO.